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Personal Blog

Personal Blog

There is an Indian man that rides a bike around. I have seen him with his turban on, riding, back straight, feet pedaling faster than his wheels can turn. He has shown up all over. I have often wondered if he is going to pop up one day with an amazing truth that will turn my life around and then disappear in a thin straggle of smoke. Or hover in the shade of the trees outside until I hear the whisper of truth in their rustling leaves. But, so far all he seems to be doing is riding his bike.

My gurus don’t wear turbans and don’t wear gowns. They seem to appear in normal attire and drive pick up trucks or little fuel efficient cars. It takes me a while to see them beyond their part as a friend of mine, but eventually the guru part sticks out and I get it.

This one came as a solid, tell-it-like-it-is sheriff and in just one sentence floored me. Spun me around like a prize-fighter with that one final Whollop. Bam!

“Try and make people accountable.”

That was the antidote for my habitually trying to please others. He saw it, called it and gave the answer…Wham! Right in the kisser.

I thought there was supposed to be a road trip where there was a long drawn out discovery of the minutia of what was failing me and then an even slower awakening of self as I was lead to greater things by the wise little soul beside me. I had hoped that meeting one’s gurus came with soft words that lead you indirectly to finding your answers. But, my gurus seem to find themselves cornered in my life and survive that with their straight talking honesty.

  • “Everyone has crap they have to deal with.” Pow!
  • “At our age, who hasn’t been hurt?” Wham!
  • “Are you trying to please me again? It’s a habit I hope you break.” Ouch!

But then there are the softer words like…

  • “Listen to yourself. You have good intuition if you pay attention to it.” Nice. (different guru)
  • “If anyone can come out of this it’s you. You will find a way to make this work for you.” Good.
  • “I hope you’re not doing this for free!” What?!

I’ve never had a shortage of ideas; just a shortage of momentum to keep it going. I guess that is why I have undervalued the ideas themselves as there are always other ideas forming as the previous one wanes. This year has seen that change. My gurus have formed a tight circle around me and are not letting me out to give it away for free or to reduce the size of it. They have circled the wagons and I am finally facing the right direction because of it.