Sunday, December 31,2017
I have lived long enough to learn a few things that, had I had the patience to listen to earlier in my life, would have made mine a different story altogether. Would it have been better? Might I have found my bliss and pot o’ gold? I can’t guarantee that, but I also don’t know if who I am today would have emerged.
Today I am taking stock. Doing inventory. There are things I need to clean up - like being positive, releasing the need for what is left of drama in my life and, most importantly; living by what I believe.
In an effort to make my words impeccable (#donmiguelruiz #thefouragreements), I am sorting through and seeing where I fall short. So, if I spend a little time thinking things through, I’ll probably end up leaving more space in between words. It’ll be a positive space. A space for blessing rather than counting fault. I’ll leave negative space for when I’m painting.
I like me.
What it took to get to be me and where I am going.
There are things about me that annoy and frustrate me, but, I accept that as part of being here in life. I accept that in others too, even if things feel like roadblocks sometimes. I haven’t always been good at being that way.
I figure that this acceptance is part of living by what I believe - once I have my stronghold in place, my internal fortress that says “this is who I am and what I do, who they are and what they do”, then, I can’t continue to carry anyone else’s stuff. It becomes easier to let go and just do what you do.
In life, there are times it’s OK to shut the door rather than clean the room...for now. Let it be. Then all of a sudden, I get the energy to get in and clean it up and I wonder why it took me so long!? But, truth is, I know why and it is still OK.
That’s kinda the backstory to being impeccable with my word… knowing what that word is. Not the word for the year (which is SIMPLIFY for me), but knowing who I am and what beliefs are really the ones I live by and having the COURAGE to own them and live by them.
So, by watching my word, by being impeccable, I will simplify (sounding like algebra a bit?) and, stop the busy work that separates me from the life I envision.
But that’s just me.
I think that in 2018 we will see clearer lines. A stronger separation in individuals and groups because we are being called to own who we are. Are we interested in the greater good? Is it time for a simpler, cleaner way? Are we afraid of change and equalizing? Many things will have to be sifted through and we will all be part of that. It’s a good thing. What we believe in that is good and loving will prevail, even if it is the quieter voice for a while. Look out, by late 2018 there will be a shift and there will be no going back. So, choose with love.
We have created all of this… the way we live, the fees we pay and the laws we obey. We have created the system and tied ourselves to it. In theory it is a good thing - we agree on standards we find amicable and agree to live that way. Then, fear sets in. Who might want to take this from me? Other countries? Other people? My own body? So we set up more systems in case we need to fight. All good, until the fear grows. Then we start to lose our way and let go of our vision. We don’t feed our love and community, we feed the fear.
I am blessed every day when I open the doors to my studio. The studio I am caretaking for you all. It is it’s own beast and I just get to come in and stir things up. I love nights where we surround new painters with laughter and we console others in their pain. It just seems to come out, because it feels safe. It is it’s own special vibe because it does not feed fear. We feed it with love. Thank you all for that! It reminds me to balance my life and to let go...
I wish you all a beautiful start to the new year and know that you will find your blessings and your positive space.
See you at the easel.