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Vision tune up

staying sane in a time of derision.


Saturday September 7th, 2020









I'm exhausted. I havde been trying to live more by my own spiritual beliefs and understanding of life as I've experienced it and not calling people stupid. It has been really hard. 

As I water my plants in the morning I realize that the joy I get from doing that lasts as long as my second cup of coffee these days. Looking to the Future, I realize now I am truly faced with the existential dilemma of accepting being in the now and not projecting to what could be. It is truly what is here in front of me and where we all are... Right now.

As I go about my morning, I realize that this time of stay-at-home has equalized things in many many ways. Nothing seems to be more important than the other as I go through my day and, I realize I am not rushing anywhere. That “hurry up and get there” has stopped. I like that, although, that has to be gotten used to; much like changing from a sugary diet to something more substantial. They are cravings.

 The words that popped through my head all morning are “let them eat cake”. But I suppose in true translation is “let them eat brioche”. I wondered what that was about and looked it up. I see that it really was a reflection of the lack of understanding or perhaps, care, from those in charge. I laughed as I thought this is so true. And yet the derision that we have been seeing and taking part in, is almost exactly a result of this very same thing. For years we have been allowed to eat brioche. Just enough to feel as though we have some luxury and are equal to, in some ways, the people of wealth and Power. And now there's a mad scramble. We can't have it anymore and they don't have any to give. Or don't want to. And so we fight each other. This is the saddest part. This is the part that exhausts me day after day. I'm sure it does others. I'm not your problem. And perhaps you're not mine. But I have to believe people are not as stupid as we are starting to sound. We know better. We teach your children better. We expect better of ourselves and we certainly expect better of our politicians. And we wonder why it takes violence before people stand up and change things for some new belief. Clearly the way it has been is not working - not for any of us brioche eaters. And while we scramble around on the floor chasing brioche crumbs fighting each other  like the Thanksgiving Day sales - we are missing the bigger point. As long as we just keep busy poking blame at each other and the other side it just benefits the dissent more and more.


But then again, I also wonder if there is not a purpose to the division. Perhaps like the Red Sea, when Moses parted it, both sides being swept away from each other to create a passage for those who were peaceful and seeking to pass through. And then, when they were safely through, the two sides crashed back together again mixing and swirling, until they were finally one again. I think the danger is in thinking that we are not affected by our animal instincts or, that we are not making the mistakes from the past, when so clearly that is exactly what is happening. So it's difficult, as I hang up the laundry, take down the laundry, water the plants and make plans for the next month’s classes, as I wonder what is next? What is the right step to take? When there is no Step at all. And so,  I try to find my core beliefs and focus on those.

 I do understand that now is a time where passivity has no place. But intention and purpose definitely do. And, this is where Grace comes in. And humor. I've been saying for a long time as have many that this is a time of big, big change. Where everything from the boots up has to be re-examined. Education, how we take care of each other, what really matters and why we are spending our entire lives on a treadmill to provide ourselves with things that end up in the landfill. And all of these things are  being put in the spotlight right now. And so much more... Why we hand over the power to these people over and over again. It may just be the nature of the Beast. The eternal fight between spirit and form.

There are more bees in my garden now. More flowers. More color.  More splash. Six fat pumpkins ripening and the calla lilies have pushed through. I'm on my second cup of coffee and the joy remains. It helps to speak.